to my dearest schmoo baby cube

you are the greatest most lovely most intelligent awesome funny witty gutsy friend i have ever had and this, among many reasons (most of which i will try to name), is why you are my best friend and i hold you in the highest esteem.

you are a sister to me

you are my family 

you understand, validate, call me out and put up with so much of my shit.

my dark days. 

the ones i have recently come upon especially. 

looking back on the past 2 years of our amazing friendship, i know that i could not have gone through those 2 years without you.

its just the truth of the matter. i could not have. i would have gone fucking crazy. 

because no one supports me like you do

i am not afraid to love myself because you love me. 

i am not afraid to speak my mind because you let me. 

i am not afraid to tell my secrets to you because you have them. 

i am not afraid to cry with you because you cry for me. 

i am not afraid to pour my heart out to you because your heart has the strength and immense space to take in mine. 

i am not afraid to bare my soul to you because thats what you want from me. 

you never want nothing less or nothing more than ME.

i don't ever want or need to be anything else but myself. 

you see me as i am, as i was and as i can and will be. you see that more than i can see that myself. 

and i don't have that with ANYONE

especially like i have that comfort with you.  

you inspire me and humble me. 

you hold me accountable and encourage me.

i can feel my brain growing, myself growing when i spend time with you because it is always time well spent, whether it be hours over coffee, a quick drive or a hysterics fest before bed. 

you are so fucking smart it amazes me that someone as intelligent and well spoken and sure of themselves as you could find so much value in me. you are so willing and gracious and your heart is so fecking huge when it comes to people - you draw people to you. 

you have so much light in you emily rhude. its one of the first things i noticed about you. your light, your soul, your history, your progress, your humbleness, your knowledge, your determination, your dreams, your opinions all shine from you. you radiate with it honey and that ain't no lie. 

i don't see that in anyone as much as i do or have always seen in you.

and i am so so blessed and glad to say and to know and to believe that we will always have this. you have let me share so much of my life with you, things i haven't ever shared with anyone and i have been so blessed to have you share yourself so thoroughly with me that no matter how far we may be from each other (which hopefully, i pray, will never be too far because thinking about it i know i probably would not survive) that we will always be bonded. 

kindred.

marked for life. 

regardless of our amazing enviable badass tats. 

if you ask me, you probably marked me with that light of yours a hell of a long time ago. 

AND

you make the best fucking birthday cards EVER. 

no shit. its above my bed. so i can see slug and your lovely hand in it every morning next to the picture of my dad and i. 

thank you for being there for me. through everything.

the good, the bad, the depressing, the pathetic.

no matter what i'm feeling

i know that the only way i get through most of it is because God has blessed me with you and your immensely understanding heart. 

thank you for making me comfortable enough to depend on you because i don't like depending on people. 

thank you for loving me as myself because myself is something not a lot of people get to see. i honestly think it's just you and the Big Man Upstairs. 

thank you for including me in your life, for sharing it with me and for letting me in it. thank you for blessing me with it.  

this is probably all the words i have for now, because there are millions more i could say (especially about how HOTT you are). i will always try my damndest to take care of you and i will make you sandwiches anytime you want, even when you are having the greatest day ever. i will wash wooley by hand, i will organize your clothes, i will write you letters, i'll go get you kambutcha, i'll keep bitches off your movies, and i'll deck anyone who tries to fuck with you into next month. 

i love you more than i could ever say or promise with words. 

i hope you had/will have a good day :)