i'm the boss with the hot sauce, i'm the lamp lighter to the promiseland

So I am reading my very first overtly feminist book, thanks to my bestie (as you can see under Les Livres) and I am loving the hell out of it (thank you bestie ☺). It’s not that I wasn’t somewhat informed on feminism before or that I didn’t consider myself one because I definitely do and I would say I knew the basics, its just that now I have been inspired to become more aware and henceforth informed. And it is so fascinating! This book I admit makes it easy because it’s a quick read, very informative but not intense and very funny but also I can feel myself thinking back to situations I’ve expereicned that now that I’m more aware, were overtly sexist.

The saddest and most angering thing I’ve realized while reading this is that even though we have made SOME progress, there are still a lot of men (whether it be through organizations, groups, policies, businesses, schools, media…etc) consciously and unconsciously oppressing women. Certainly consciously, and a lot of that stuff is obvious (or not so much, look into it) enough, but doing it unconsciously is the kicker because they have been programmed by generation to do so in so many ways that they don’t even realize that by saying and acting a certain way in a small part is keeping women oppressed. I could get way more into this, but it would take me ages to gather my thoughts but when I say oppressed I mean that there are still a lot of little and big ways that men and a society and world mostly run by men (not just the USA) has really done its best to keep intelligent, aware, smart, sexy, driven, compassionate, ballsy, non typical (what IS typical???) women lessened or as low as possible (and especially women of color and race!)
So this makes me think of all the guys I know, all of my close guy friends whom I love dearly and some I would be just lost without and instances where they have either A: demeaned women or B: added to the female stereotype, thus still minorly oppressing women. Instances that I thought nothing of, things that I may have even been mildly offended by at the time but that I brushed off out of love or lack of a retort. And its not that they don’t respect me or their mothers, girlfriends, grandma’s, co-workers, peers…etc. they do, and there are at least 2 of them who are the most gentlemanly guys I know (and gentlemanly OUT of respect NOT because they want something) and are just amazing guys, but they don’t know and are completely unaware that they are doing their small part because they have been programmed by a society that thinks it is ok to still do minor things that that.

Here’s the most pitiful part of all though: I know that I can’t, for the life of me, get into a decent respecting calm conversation about feminism with any guy here that I know. By merely dropping the word feminism, even in the most socially conscious and liberally minded of men, or by even referencing this book (which my bestie tells me is quite tame), I will automatically been seen as a femme-nazi, or basically a fiery feminist preacher trying to stuff the gospel of women equality down their throats. Hhmmmm, that seems reminiscent of…of some concept…or structure or beliefs…that must…already be here…I get the distinct feeling…I’ve felt that way too…funny. Even if they say nothing of it, I will initially at least be subjected to the feminist stereotype. How incredibly sad.

So far, here’s what feminism is to me:
Feminism strives to allow women of all cultures and countries, races, politically convictions, personal choices…to be the best women they possibly can. Not limited to within their means, not as much as they want to, but the way that women were supposed to be seen and honestly, I think seen in Gods eyes: as equal and a partner, an equal supporter and supportee to other women and to men and to anyone or anything else they damn well please. Hell, even to their dogs! This means allowing women to be smart, to be educated, to be aware of their bodies and their minds and their persons and their instincts and their intuitions, to be sexy not slutty, to be driven and allowed to have ambition to do what they want in whatever setting they want, to have their valid thoughts, opinions, ideas and beliefs SEEN and felt as valid in all societies and cultures, not just their own, to be believed in, supported and trusted by the rest of their cultures and societies to make their own choices about ANYTHING and allow these women to be not only accepted, but wanted, admired and respected by everyone, because this to me is what all women should be. We should be PROUD to BE women, not ashamed, not pitied, not allowing ourselves to be oppressed.


But in a way, this has only helped me confirm at least 5 more years of a somewhat single life…that is a consequence for want of progress. I want to be respected and respected as I am. I want someone who will respect my mind as well as my body; I want my mind and my body to be mine first and his second. I want my thoughts and feelings to be valid, respected and trusted and nurtured. I want to be challenged and allowed to grow and I want to help grow, I don’t want to be belittled.
And as I type, some young women is trying to pull off a cover of Whole Lotta Love at the closing Olympic ceremony. It sucks and I’m trying not to contradict to everything I just wrote…I happen to think that Led Zeppelin is ok as they are and that their all lady tribute bands are just lovely (Lez Zeppelin: Check them out!)

I would do that…be in a Zeppelin tribute band, would that be contradictory? Oh well. More later.
Remember how much I love you.
or could have.