wowzerz

i have grown up a lot.

i was thinking about even just where i was a year ago, two years ago, and typically, how much has happened since then and i realized that i have grown a lot as a person.
i have become more comfortable in my own skin to the point where i might just be content staying in it for a bit longer.

many little things have happened which usually become bigger things as time progresses. those little things become more important and the important things become minimal and in between there's this point of contentment, however brief.
i am thankful for that.

life is about learning and to learn, you have to experience and there are so many different ways to experience things because each person is different: it's not black and white, all or nothing. you don't need to go full force to experience something or to have one. you put yourself out there or you don't, just be aware of your thoughts and your actions and their benefits. i haven't really had many of what one would call 'an experience', but i process everything that happens to me, from waking up to eating to speaking to creating to loving to sleeping - i am aware that i process. i process the hell out of everything.
and that works for me.

i have grown and i have changed and it doesn't matter if any one else knows or notices because i know, i notice and its been working out well. i used to be a much more complicated person. complicated as in unconfident, overanalyzing and critical, i would make things hard for myself sometimes, consciously or not.
i still do some of those things, i'm still critical and i overthink a lot, but i'm simpler.
i'm working on becoming basic.
basic, forward ad guilt free.
i never thought i'd be here.