more blessings

subcategory: my family

all families have their shit and no family is perfect, there will always be issues between parents and their children, parents between each other, with extended family, with differing views, with the world - not to diminish or lessen anyone's specific experience, but just in saying. my family certainly has its shit as well, but i am so incredibly thankful for my family.
all of it. all 150 on one side and all 40 on the other - i love all of them. and why? because of our capacity for absorption. i know how very blessed i am to have the family that i do but the very greatest and most wonderful thing about them is that anyone can come in and be a part of it. every one of my friends who are hurting, who are scared, angry, dejected, unconfident and alone in their own families, i want so desperately to bring them home with me just so they can be absorbed, so they can be as fully and equally blessed as i am - because that is by far the most beautiful thing about it, the fullness and equality in that absorption and that taking in contributed by everyone, not only by my own small family, but by my extended family as well. there are so many of us, with so much shit, differences, disagreements, idiosyncrasies and experience that the best thing we know how to do is support and love each other and others and we will take any excuse we can get to get together with one another, we seriously have a gathering for EVERYTHING, which is AMAZING. i can honestly say that i would lay down my life for most of my family - mom, dad, especially brother and sister, grandparents, my godmother. i would do anything to help make these people better and happy and they would do the same for me without question.
plus, i don't mean to brag but we're all pretty much fucking awesome. i'm not just saying that, it's totally true (this coming from the least awesome member). with most families, i am sad to say, you can't all lay around in a huge pile trying to think up every possible synonym for the word poop.


subcategory: the manfriends

there is something certainly to be said about the kind of guys i am typically surrounded by at school, but i am glad to say that lately i have been in the company of some truly awesome men. granted, some of them are no longer here anymore and it's sad that a little time and distance has actually made me think about that but that aside, i am still glad to call them my friends. there is one in particular who made me think about and realize this and because of that i miss his company immensely, which in turn got me thinking of other men who are similar in their behavior, maturity, demeanor, respect, their ability to reciprocate and confidence in themselves. they are men who truly respect women, not in that 'i need to be a gentlemen' way, but in a truly respectful, meaningful, equal and invaluable way due to that maturity, self awareness, sensitivity and intelligence. they are great to talk to, hang out with, listen to and again, whether it be a coworker or friend or classmate, mandatory house boyfriend etc. there is something to be said about that because A: it's sadly highly critisized to be a true man like that and B: it's rare, most 'men' are actually still guys or boys.
so here's to my manfriends: thank you for being so solid, awesome examples/hope for the future of your sex, respectful and willing. thank you for watching project runway with us, making us food, bringing us our favorite beer, leaving us notes in our drawers and surprises in our lockers, asking us questions, opening up to us about your feelings and your lives, supporting and understanding where we are in our lives, telling us how much you love your girlfriend, telling us how you see us, actually have the balls to tell us how you care about us (in whatever way), not taking us for granted, bringing us vicks kleenex, nyquil and cigarettes, encouraging us, taking out our trash even though you know we can do it (just because you can), drinking with us, writing to us, listening to us and letting us listen to you, making us laugh, fixing shit and letting us fix shit, not being afraid to hug us, crying in front of us, being men.


now if you will excuse me, i have to go watch Return of the Jedi.